Problems In "The Friend Zone"

Tired of always being friend zoned?

You're always there for that girl but it turns out she wants nothing more than a shoulder to cry on.

Left in the dark for some kind of bad-boy Alpha male when it's clearly YOU that's the nice guy?

I will be regularly keeping you updated with the all the key lessons and more - and I assure you that you will learn some completely unexpected information!

It's easy, really... and it's only a matter of time before you are never hailed as "just the nice guy" again.

Getting Into The Dating Game

As you should be aware by now, the friend zone doesn't exist. So how do you get into dating, not just forming friendships?

Let me break it down into the first few easy steps...

• Do not overly hassle the object of your affections. Let them know you exist, sure, but never be pushy. This could put anyone off
• Do not pin all of your hopes and dreams onto one person when you barely know them. This is a lot of pressure for anyone to handle
• Do not mix fantasy with reality. Be realistic with the person you like. Do you have common interests, a shared sense of humour? Or are you opposite personalities?
• Do not expect anyone to fall for you right away. Flaunt your best traits but don't boast; if they are interested they will admire you for your strengths
• Do not lie to win them over. Of course, it's easy enough to slip in a little white lie to up your game, but this is not advised. You are going nowhere if you have to resort to dishonesty from the start
• Do not "just settle". This is not beneficial to either party. It is an easy way out

Making any sense? Re-assess your current dating technique if it's getting you nowhere. Try something new but be honest with yourself.

Is this sounding boring?

Too safe?

Sometimes playing it safe works. If you are met with failure after failure, try and think about yourself before you think of the other party. What could you do differently? When did the first cracks begin to show?

All these tips and more will be featured in my up-coming E-Book. And I promise that the next time you try your hand at dating, you will be successful.

The Main Issue

An issue with the friend zone is that the term is bandied around at the drop of a hat.

"She told me she wished she could find a guy just like me... but what ABOUT me, why am I always just the friend?"

Here's something that might take you by surprise:

It is possible for members of the opposite sex to be friends - just friends, and sometimes those friendships should be cherished.

Sound a bit too sentimental? Well it shouldn't. Why CAN'T you be content being friends without expecting more? Opposite-sex friendships are just as important as same-sex friendships.

Here's a scenario which applies this logic to same-sex friends.

"So I met this guy in a bar and we hit it off pretty well - we had loads in common and I thought he'd fit in great with my other friends. We swapped numbers and arranged to play football one day, maybe grab a couple of beers and a pizza, just have a laugh, you know. Soon we were hanging out nearly every day, and we were really tight. Or so I thought. One day, my favourite band was playing a show and I hadn't seen them before so I was desperate to go, and I asked my new buddy if he fancied it - I'd even buy him a ticket. He said he'd never really been into this band and he didn't really feel like sitting through them for hours, but we could still hang out any other time. Naturally I went nuts, I was angry - why had this guy been happy to be my friend but then wouldn't comply to my every whim, even when I offered to pay? He'd been a good friend, sure, but obviously not good enough of a friend to do this one simple thing for me."

Sounds weird, right? How do you think the person who allegedly put you in the friend zone feels - when as far as they were aware, you were good friends, with nothing more to be expected?

Expectations are dangerous.

Never expect anything of anyone unless you have both mutually decided on what that could involve.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

I may sound like I'm repeating myself here but it is important. Always be clear with your intentions, and then you won't risk being misunderstood.

I could go on, but the rest is for another time. I want you to think about the posts I have made so far and how they apply to you.

Soon I will be releasing an E-Book containing the facts from this blog and more, and I have no qualms in telling you that this will be the definitive guide to never seeing yourself in the friend zone again.

Coming soon...

What Am I Getting At?

It's all very well me telling you there is no such thing as a friend zone, but when you find yourself constantly within its confinements, that's a hard pill to swallow.

So what do I mean?

Well it's all semantics.

se·man·tics (s-mntks)

n. (used with a sing. or pl. verb)

1. Linguistics The study or science of meaning in language.

2. Linguistics The study of relationships between signs and symbols and what they represent. Also called semasiology.

3. The meaning or the interpretation of a word, sentence, or other language form: We're basically agreed; let's not quibble over semantics.

By this I mean logically speaking, you are not put in a friend zone, you are merely friends, because that's how you've presented yourself.

Did you make friends with this person just because you fancied them?

This is your first mistake. Do you use the same methods to make friends with someone who you just want to be friends with? Did you make yourself seem like you want to be in a relationship at any point, or just bypass and assume that making friends first is the safest option?

Stop putting yourself out there as a friend. You want to go out with this person, right? Then why not drop some subtle and not-so-subtle hints about it?

By this I do not mean advance as a sexual predator!

Because that won't get you much further. No one likes to be made to feel uncomfortable by inappropriate remarks and forwardness. So be gentle, and respond to the object of your affections like they are just that, not as just a friend.

And so what if you are still feeling friend zoned after a couple of months goes by? Ever heard the proverb -

 "Softly, softly, catchee monkey."

Patience is a virtue. In fact you could probably think of dozens of expressions relating to patience ("a watched pot never boils," "Rome wasn't built in a day,"...etc etc), and this is because patience is key.

If you really like someone, are you not even willing to wait for them?

And if that's the case, maybe it's time for you to move on.

Sometimes honesty hurts, and I am going to be presenting you with a lot more of it. But it's going to get you results, so be sure to bookmark this site and check back to see what else I have to reveal about the mythological friend zone.

Why There Is No Such Thing As The Friend Zone

So, you are probably wondering why I am so adamant to tell you that there is no such thing as the "friend zone".

Before we get there I want you to think carefully about these 3 things:

1. How long have you been friends?
2. How long have you considered yourself in the "friend zone"?
3. What have they done to make yourself feel "friend-zoned"?

Now, you may think this sounds ridiculous, but it's this kind of truth that gets results. 

I'm telling you right now to assess your behaviour before we can go any further. You are the one in control of your actions, so be super-aware of them to make sure you can get what you want, and see where you're going wrong.

Once you realise the problem, you'll be kicking yourself because you didn't do anything about it earlier.

It's no secret but it's realistic.

This isn't a long process. We want progress and we want it quickly, right?

All I'm suggesting you do is take a step back from the pit of self-pity you've been wallowing in. There is no need to mope when you are in control of your own life!

Image source: http://erisgrim.deviantart.com

You can have your cake and eat it once you weigh up the pros and cons of your current dating techniques. 

How much do you have in common?
How important is your friendship?

These are the sorts of questions you should be pondering. And once you have these answers, you aren't far away from never being friend zoned again. I can assure you!